Ever get the feeling the fates have a very dark sense of humor? Either that.. or we are too uncomprehending of the nature of the universe. I’m talking about the way life treats us.. (or is it just me? I don’t know..) running smooth and simple at times, just as we like it. Or full of problems and difficulties for us to conquer, the times we like to look back at later and say.. man those were tough times.
I’m not being ungrateful here.. I do realize how fortunate I am to be where I am today.. I know hundreds (thousands?) would give up their own lives to be in my place.. but I’m trying to decipher the way the fates work.
All my life I’v had comforts.. there had been no desire to excel.. to plan for the future.. but as I’v grown and matured I’v begun to have aspirations, dreams, desires. The fate has been somewhat kind, giving me the determination to see my aspirations fulfilled. But always.. and I mean always.. something has come up which completely dazes me.. disheartens me.
Now days I know what I want, and what I must do to get it. I even have the desire to do so… but still there are obstruction in the path. This is what I wonder. Why are these obstructions always there? And why does life enter endlessly long, completely dark tunnels ever so often? Why am I black more often than not? Like now for instance.. I have an exam in a few hours.. I know its important.. I know I have to study.. and I wanted to… but I wasn’t able to. Stuff came up which I could not ignore.. now its night.. I still have time.. but I don’t know where to begin… Its probably all foolishness on my part.. I should have planned and prepared better.. but my point is.. why should I need to plan at all? I want to do well in an exam.. for that I have to study. I want to study. Yet life doesn’t allow me to? Why?
I suppose your answer would be that the obstructions make the desires much stronger.. makes the final achievement that much sweeter.. the victory that much grander.. and I agree.. nothing pleases man more than a battle well fought.. and won. But yet I wonder.. is that how it has to be? Why face any difficulty at all? What would the world be like if we all had honest aspirations, unflinching faith, used just means to achieve those aspirations and faced no problems in doing so. Would we really be losing out on something? I don’t know.
Its easy to say.. c’est la vie .. this is life.. this is how it is.. and keep doing the same thing over and over again… but what if we don’t want to? Come to think of it.. what cause problems.. what is the very core of the phenomenon of problems? It may finally be people. In the end.. we are the architects of all our problems. Or are we… I don’t know… is it possible to eliminate all problems that we have by making sure we don’t create problems for anyone else?
